11/27/16
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Science
- There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly where you just walk round the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
- If Apple owned the ISS it would spell disaster for other spacecraft that wanted to dock with it.
- A person with actual psychic powers would more likely be found working on Wall Street than working as a fortune teller.
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11/23/16
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Science
- What if Socrates was being literal when he said "I know nothing" and the Socratic Method was just him asking questions because he had no idea what was going on?
- My "I'll be home in 5 minutes" and my wife's "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" is the same thing.
- Redbull seems to sponsor the activities you would least likely to get drowsy doing.
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11/22/16
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Science
- If someone offered to pay for my food and rent for the next 18 years, I'd do anything they ask of me. But I complained every time I took the trash out while living at my parent's house.
- When someone says there may be aliens in other galaxies, I'm inclined to believe them. When someone says they have proof, I think they're full of crap.
- Thinking my cat was simple minded for being entertained by string. Only to realize I was being entertained by a cat playing with a string.
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11/21/16
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Science
- My parents taught me to be kind and humble, honest and hardworking, and to save an unnecessary ton of plastic bags under the sink.
- Parking meters are just a convenient way to pay rent on a small plot of land.
- I spend most of my time at work to pay rent for a place that I hardly see because I'm at work.
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11/16/16
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Science
- "Smoking or non-smoking" will eventually refer more to marijuana than to cigarettes.
- The speed of light is basically just the fastest the universe can render.
- The craziest prediction that the tv show "The Jetsons" made about life that far in the future was that a man could still support a middle class family of 4 by working in a factory.
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11/15/16
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Science
- The 5 second youtube ads are genius, I will watch those and even like what's being advertised. 30 second ones where you can't skip make me hate whatever product is being advertised.
- Monopoly is basically Dungeons and Dragons for accountants.
- Parents used to say 'don't believe everything you read on the internet.' Now if I ask my dad a question his first response is 'google it.'
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11/14/16
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Science
- Every time I save my game I choose "create new save", thinking I might go back to them at some point, but never do.
- I'm old enough to miss the days when I couldn't be reached at a moments notice.
- We are planning to sustain life on Mars yet we can't even do that in 3rd world country's on Earth.
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11/13/16
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Science
- A zoo is a really safe place to fart.
- I'm glad dogs can't read the "no dogs allowed" signs so they don't feel sad and left out.
- I feel like every year there is a "the moon only looks like this every 100 years" event.
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11/12/16
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Science
- My dad used to say that if I didn't watch any television news, I would be ignorant and uninformed. Now I think my dad is ignorant and uninformed for watching too much television news.
- My clothes have been to countries I haven't.
- Even immortals do not know what it is like to live forever.
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11/8/16
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Science
- Whenever there's a hold-up in the drive-thru line I never blame the employees for being slow, I always assume it's the customer's fault for ordering too much or something too complicated for the drive-thru.
- 8 years ago I would not have bought a phone where you couldn't change the ringtone, now I think I've had the same default ringtone for 5 years.
- Millions of people have accidentally made a human, but no one has accidentally made a muffin.
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11/5/16
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Science
- When people think about travelling to the past, they worry about accidentally changing the present, but no one in the present really thinks they can radically change the future
- Someone should make a documentary where they fly a Flat Earth theory supporter to space station for a couple of days.
- For once I would like to see an action movie where half way through it the hero dies and we get to see what the villain does when he conquers the world.
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11/3/16
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Science
- '58 was 58 years ago for 58 more days.
- As a kid, 99.9% of the times I cried was due to physical pain. As an adult, 99.9% of the times I have cried was due to emotional pain.
- Aliens finding "Never Gonna Give You Up" on the Voyager Golden Record would have been the greatest rickroll ever.
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10/31/16
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Science
- Earth is like a guy who knows exactly where to stand next to a bonfire.
- 10 years ago we all wanted cool ringtones. Now we all just use the standard one.
- Facebook is just a Pokédex for people.
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