Tuesday, November 22, 2016

11/22/16

11/22/16

News

Science

  • If someone offered to pay for my food and rent for the next 18 years, I'd do anything they ask of me. But I complained every time I took the trash out while living at my parent's house.
  • When someone says there may be aliens in other galaxies, I'm inclined to believe them. When someone says they have proof, I think they're full of crap.
  • Thinking my cat was simple minded for being entertained by string. Only to realize I was being entertained by a cat playing with a string.

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Wednesday, November 16, 2016

11/16/16

11/16/16

News

Science

  • "Smoking or non-smoking" will eventually refer more to marijuana than to cigarettes.
  • The speed of light is basically just the fastest the universe can render.
  • The craziest prediction that the tv show "The Jetsons" made about life that far in the future was that a man could still support a middle class family of 4 by working in a factory.

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Tuesday, November 8, 2016

11/8/16

11/8/16

News

Science

  • Whenever there's a hold-up in the drive-thru line I never blame the employees for being slow, I always assume it's the customer's fault for ordering too much or something too complicated for the drive-thru.
  • 8 years ago I would not have bought a phone where you couldn't change the ringtone, now I think I've had the same default ringtone for 5 years.
  • Millions of people have accidentally made a human, but no one has accidentally made a muffin.

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Saturday, November 5, 2016

11/5/16

11/5/16

News

Science

  • When people think about travelling to the past, they worry about accidentally changing the present, but no one in the present really thinks they can radically change the future
  • Someone should make a documentary where they fly a Flat Earth theory supporter to space station for a couple of days.
  • For once I would like to see an action movie where half way through it the hero dies and we get to see what the villain does when he conquers the world.

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Thursday, November 3, 2016

11/3/16

11/3/16

News

Science

  • '58 was 58 years ago for 58 more days.
  • As a kid, 99.9% of the times I cried was due to physical pain. As an adult, 99.9% of the times I have cried was due to emotional pain.
  • Aliens finding "Never Gonna Give You Up" on the Voyager Golden Record would have been the greatest rickroll ever.

Cool Images

10/31/16

10/31/16

News

Science

  • Earth is like a guy who knows exactly where to stand next to a bonfire.
  • 10 years ago we all wanted cool ringtones. Now we all just use the standard one.
  • Facebook is just a Pokédex for people.

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Thursday, October 27, 2016

10/27/16

10/27/16

News

Science

  • Coffee should have a "caffeine by volume" rating like alcohol so I can choose how wired I really want to be when I buy coffee.
  • If the "Six Million Dollar Man" show were set in the present day, instead of a bionic man it would just be a guy that had two knee replacements.
  • Harry Potter would have been amazing if each book got a season in a Netflix series.

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Sunday, October 23, 2016

10/23/16

10/23/16

News

Science

  • If a stranger insults me, I'l probably ignore it, as their opinion is meaningless. If a stranger compliments me, I'll probably treasure it, as their opinion is important.
  • The last person I would want giving me love and marriage advice during my wedding ceremony is a priest that has lived a life of celibacy.
  • The only reason I know about Aleppo is because Gary Johnson didn't.

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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

10/19/16

10/19/16

News

Science

  • Putting soymilk into coffee is putting beanwater into a different kind of beanwater.
  • In some countries people are broke and don't even have clean drinking water and in my country we have fountains in public places that spew clean water and people just throw their unwanted money into it.
  • Having a video not load after watching an entire ad, is like the equivalent of having a vending machine eat your money.

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